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This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

My favorite photo - almost

We got some great photos at Easter in Houston. My dad has a wonderfully thick and cool St. Augustine lawn (I'm jealous) and the girls and I ended up rolling around on it.

 

This would be my favorite photo ever of me and the girls if only Clara had been there. Oh well. Maybe one day I'll get that perfect picture.

Clara was close by though. Here's proof.

 

Or maybe Clara was in the pic...thanks to a little photoshop.

 

No response yet

Several of you have responded to my recent letter to the manufacturer of our units. It seems that some of you also own units from the same manufacturer and several others have units on order. I just wanted to let you know that I haven't heard anything from the customer service folks, but I'll be sure to post the response here when I do. Being a unit-owner takes some effort, and I think we owners need to stick together. If you have any insight about being a unit-owner, please share.

By the way, we celebrate the 2nd boot-up anniversary of our units this past weekend. Lots of family and a few close friends came for the party, and the "girls" seemed to have a great time.

Take care,

David

To Whom It May Concern

To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is in regards to items #2220401, #2220402, and #2220403 which we purchased from your company. We've had our units for two years now and we have been pleased for the most part but do have some questions/concerns. We received them seven weeks early which, though it took us a little by surprise, was acceptable. We took advantage of your "buy two get one free" promotion, and all three items were in good condition. Our complaints are not about the original transaction or even the first two years of living with the units. As I said earlier, we've been pleased for the most part.

My questions/suggestions/concerns are as follows:

1. Where is the volume control? I've been trying to locate it for a while now and I'm not having any success. At first I thought I could find it on my own, but after a bit of searching I decided to consult the manual (I never read the manual first - I guess it's a pride thing). That's when I first discovered that we didn't get a manual with our order. Is it possible you shipped the items and forgot to include the manual? If so, could you please overnight it to us as soon as possible? If you did forget the manual, I'd suggest firing Inspectors No. 5467, 4356, and 9981 because a manual would have been very helpful to us during certain parts of the past two years.

Anyway there are times that it gets so loud around here that my wife and I can't hear what the other is saying. And most of my headaches these days are caused by the extremely loud unpleasant noises emitted by our units. In addition, the level of stress and frustration around our home increases dramatically during the noisy times. Please respond and tell me where the volume control is located (or simply send the manual). Sometimes it seems loud enough to actually cause permanent damage to one's hearing. I would hate to discover you didn't even install a volume control; I imagine there would be a potential lawsuit there (not that I'm threatening).

2. The obedience module seems to be flaky. It's not completely malfunctioning: sometimes they will do exactly what we ask them to do. It's the other times that concern me. There are times when they seem to forget their name - we'll call them and they ignore us. Other times they do the opposite of what we tell them to do -- I'm no expert but it seems like there are bugs in the code. Can you send a programmer out to examine our units?

3. The wake-up module on unit #2220402 seems to be progressively shifting to an earlier wake-up time. Is there a way to set a consistent wake-up time, something like 7:30 am? If so, since we didn't get a manual, could you kindly send instructions as soon as possible (before tomorrow morning -- please)? If not, I'd consider that as a feature in future models.

One more thing: is there a remote control available for our units? I've tried programming my universal Tivo remote to control the units but couldn't find the right code. Any help would be appreciated.

I think that's all for now. I'm sure I'll write again as we have more questions/concerns/suggestions. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Best Regards,

David

In the blink of an eye

It's been a long time...too long...since I've written or posted.

Bella called the other day to say that she is getting published. She's been working so hard for a long time to get her work out there, and we are so proud of her. The book is a novel about three young sisters growing up in the middle of an escalating civil/religious war in a fictional country. They learn to care for one another in unimaginable ways and their love for each other becomes a shining light in the midst of the war-ravaged land that is their home. It's really a great story filled with wonderful drama and many moments of heartbreak. I've always thought it was her best work, and it looks like somebody else thinks so too. I'm amazed at the insight she has, especially considering that her childhood was untouched by war (at least in a direct way). Bella has always been able to empathize deeply with people, and I guess that's how she gets the insight. Congrats Bella! We love you!

Aleah is spending lots of her time cooking, sculpting, painting, and, of course, teaching at the school. She's a wonderful cook (as many of you know) and a brilliant artist (and I'm not being biased), but her true gift is her ability is to inspire wonder and curiosity in the high school students she teaches. The way she weaves history and literature into her art lessons is truly amazing. I had the privilege of sitting in on one of her classes the other day and I was astounded at the enthusiasm of her students. She really does know how to engage their minds and hearts in the educational process. We're proud of her for many things, but I think her teaching is the most profound gift she is giving to the world. Plus, since they started paying good teachers what they are worth, she'll be able to raise the family on her salary. Of course, that means Aaron will continue to be a stay-at-home dad, but he's done a great job with that so far!

Clara...well, Clara is still as energetic and witty as ever. Can you be in a room with her for five minutes without laughing? (The answer is no.) Her practice is still developing, but as word of the "unique environment" her office provides for children spreads, she'll soon have too many patients. She really is a gifted physician, but you'd never think of her as a doctor. She's more at home in her clown costume (which she puts on some on the weekends for the occasional children's party). We've really enjoyed watching her create a very welcoming and special place for children who might otherwise be treated in the cold, sterile government clinic. I hope it catches on and other physicians begin to see the value of it.

But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself...has it really been that long since I've written?

Vlog 9-15-2005

I recommend using iTunes to subscribe to and view our vlog. However, if you use the link below to view the video, please be patient with the video loads. It may take a while.
Burns Party Vlog from 9-15-2005.

A little newness

So I just decided to make it easy and choose one of the templates offered by Blogger. It's certainly no artistic expression of my inner person, but it'll do.

The girls had the 18-month checkup yesterday and everything was good. We were surprised that all their weights were on the chart since the last time our doctor was concerned about them being too skinny. Everyone's healthy for the moment and that makes for some really good days, especially for Amber.

For those of you enjoying the vlog: I promise I'm going to post more video soon.

Working on another template

Yea...well I'm not too pleased with this template since it seems to have some display problems. I'm working on getting something new. I'm learning a little about CSS and I might attempt to roll my own template. We shall see.

drb

Vlog 8-10-2005

The second vlog.

What are you looking at?!

Quit staring. It's rude.

Oh...Oh really? You like it?

Well thanks, I didn't think anyone would notice. Oh, just a little touch up, that's all. Needed a change of scenery, you know how it is.

Oh my, that's a nice thing to say...but I certainly don't FEEL any younger.

drb

Vlog

Thanks for the feedback from those of you who've tried to view my vlog. Looks like you'll need to be running Quicktime 7 in order to properly view the videos. You can download and install the free version for Windows or Mac here: www.apple.com/quicktime. For Windows users, be sure to click on the "Quicktime 7 for Windows Public Preview..." link right below the blue "Download Now" button.

Let me know if it's still not working.

drb

35 years

(no video today...this one needs to be written)

35 years x 2 = 70 years. Someone told me this past weekend that you're not old as long as you can double your age and still have a reasonable chance of being alive. So I guess I'm not old, but I am a year older today.

35 years have gone so quickly -- melted into a sea of memories sloshing about inside my head.

So let's take stock: my wife is still my best friend, my children are a treasure and a crucible, my family members are good traveling mates, my friends are great friends, the best thing about my job is the people I work with, and my faith is a comfort and a struggle. Not bad for half-a-life (God willing). Sounds fairly normal for 35 year-old white boy from Houston.

And now for the questions...

Q: Am I settling?
A: Maybe.

Q: Is settling a bad thing?
A: I don't think so.

Q: What if I could've been a star chef or a missionary or a circus clown or an NFL referee or a rock star? What if I could've done something magnificent?
A: Ummm...you've already been all those things, just not on the scale that you typically consider magnificent. Rethink magnificent.

Q: What about the world? Doesn't it need changing?
A: You are changing the world, one diaper at a time.

Q: What if I'm a bad parent? I'll be screwing up 3 kids at once!
A: You will be a bad parent occasionally, so get over it. But you'll also have shining moments of brilliant and compassionate parenting. Like B said, you just have to be "good enough".

Q: What about my faith? I'm as weak and sinful and selfish as ever and I thought I wouldn't be by now.
A: Join the crowd and keep at it. Out of the struggle comes growth.

Q: What about the will of God? What if I missed it?
A: The will of God is more about who you are, not what you do. However, your choices are often determined by who you are.

Q: My work is interesting but not that rewarding. Am I wasting my life on work that doesn't reward me emotionally or doesn't really meet the needs of the world?
A: 1. See the answer to the previous question. 2. Do you serve people in the course of your work? Do you have human co-workers? Then you have a call to be merciful, loving, compassionate, and self-less towards all you come in contact with at work. Once you've mastered that, call me back.

Q: Who are you and why don't I hear from you more often?
A: I'm always around but I'm usually soft-spoken. You pump so much noise into your head that you can't hear me most of the time. You'll hear me when you're quiet. And by the way, happy birthday.

drb

Trying again

I've got a new version of the first video up (even though the video is a little out of date now). Try the link here for our first vlog.

You can also try this:

I'd recommend using the free iTunes 4.9 (for Windows or Mac) to subscribe to our vlog and you'll automatically get new videos as we update them. Subscribing is easy...open iTunes, select Advanced, Subscribe to Podcast, and paste this url in the blank: feed://feeds.feedburner.com/burnspartyvlog. Click OK and you're done.

Or you can just come here. I'll always have a link to the latest video.

Working out the bugs

Let me rephrase the first sentence of my last entry...

I'm trying to start a vlog.

There were a few problems with the first video I uploaded, but I'm working on them. I'm hoping to get a smaller version posted today.

If you have success or failures accessing my vlog, please inform me at d-a-r-o-b-u-@-g-m-a-i-l-.-c-o-m (remove the hyphens when you type the address).

Thanks-drb

Something new

I'm starting a vlog.

A vlog is like a blog except it's video. Click here for our first vlog. The nice thing about this is that you can subscribe to my vlog and automatically receive new content as I create it.

I'd recommend using the free iTunes 4.9 (for Windows or Mac) to subscribe to our vlog and you'll automatically get new videos as we update them. Subscribing is easy...open iTunes, select Advanced, Subscribe to Podcast, and paste this url in the blank: http://burnspartyv.blogspot.com/atom.xml. Click OK and you're done.
Or you can just come here. I'll always have a link to the latest video.

Enjoy-

drb

Father's Day

I got up with the girls this morning. They really are a wonderful thing to wake up to on most days, and today was one of those days. On Father's Day last year, I was still in the fog of the first 6 months. This year, things are clearer and I've watched the girls grow from incredibly tiny little babies into walking, talking, climbing, running little children.

I am astounded at the speed at which the past 10 months have disappeared.

I am humbled by the gifts that my children have unknowingly given me.

I am grateful for the new perspective on living that has come with their presence.

Their wonder and laughter make me want to be like them.

My "adult" way of being is consistently assaulted by the powerful force of good that flows out of them.

And they crack me up.

Happy Father's Day to me. (and to Pops & Pappy)

Family Gathering

We drove down to New Ulm, Texas for the annual Carlisle Family Reunion (my family) this past weekend. We spent Friday and Saturday night and had a great time. A Friday night fish fry, swimming on Saturday, bingo, card games, and lots of other stuff filled the weekend with fun (mostly thanks to Mom, who organized the whole thing). The girls had a great time playing with cousins J and B and other relatives. They also had their first swimming experience. Aleah took to it well and was going under by the end, but Bella and Clara were a little more hesitant. Thanks to A for hanging out with us in the pool!

3-year-old cousin J made us laugh when knocked on a door and asked for a "Diet Coke with Splenda", and when he, holding his shoes in one hand and a package of Smarties in the other, in response to Amber's request to "have one" so she could "bite it in half and give it to the girls", said, "No, my shoes are too hard to bite in half." I've heard once they start talking they don't stop, but I'm looking forward to all the funny conversations we'll have with the girls.

Amber's graduation

Amber has been working on her Master of Science in Educational Counseling for the past three years, and she finally completed her degree this semester. Her graduation was a big day and she walked the stage to accept her well-earned diploma. I'm very proud of her but I'm not suprised by her achievements. Our girls are blessed to have her, and so am I.

Sunday morning live

We arrived at the hospital, parked the car, and entered the building through the automatic doors near the admitting office. We didn't realize how many times we'd be walking through those doors over the next four weeks.

The admissions office was closed, so we headed straight up to labor and delivery as we had been told to do by our doctor. We got into a room, Amber got into the bed, and the nurse affixed three fetal heartbeat monitors to Amber's belly. It took her a while to get them positioned just so in order to hear the three heartbeats, and I was secretly very relieved when I finally heard the third one pounding through the speaker.

Folks began to arrive a few at a time and gather in the waiting room. The nurses told us that they were prepping the room and waiting for all the staff to arrive (we had thirteen hospital staff present at delivery), so we waited, chatting with family and friends, taking a few pictures, and wondering what it was all going to be like.

At 2:00 am, they were ready. They took Amber back to prep her for the c-section, and I wandered the hall between the OR and the waiting room. My parents finally arrived in spite of being pulled over by a police officer; their excuse got them a warning and a "be careful".

The nurse called me into the OR, and I entered to find Amber's head and arms on the 'safe' side of the blue drape. She'd already received anesthesia. The nurse pointed to my seat and our doctor offered some light-hearted encouragement. I sat down next to Amber's head. I kissed her, we exchanged some words and readied ourselves to meet the girls.

Before long, after what Amber described as 'tugging', I heard the doctor say "Dad, do you want to see Baby A?" I quickly overcame any fears of blood and fainting to stand and peer over the curtain. There was Aleah, my first daughter, the most amazing sight I had ever seen. The doctor then held Aleah over the curtain so Amber could see her. Two more times that happened..."Dad, see Baby B." Stand up, peer over, Bella, the most amazing sight; "Dad, Baby C", Clara, the most amazing sight.
Aleah, Bella, and Clara....they had arrived.

To be continued...

Saturday night live

We had just said goodbye to a couple of friends who had been over for dinner and some games. Amber, large with children, was sitting in the recliner, and I was on the couch.

"I'm heading to bed," she announced. She had to announce it because at this point in her pregnancy, when she moved from one room to another, the dog and I needed a warning to stay out of the way.

Saturday Night Live had just begun as Amber began to push herself up from her seated position. My eyes were on the TV, watching the celeb d'jour beginning an unfunny monologue, when Amber spoke my name.

"I think my water just broke," she said.

"Ok," I said, "Are you sure?" My head suddenly felt like a tightly-wound spring ready to release and bounce wildly around the room.

"Yes. I think so."

And we were off. I rushed to get her a towel which she immediately straddled like horse to stem the flow. When they say "water", they don't mean "water" like a trickling mountain stream; it's much more like a falls of the Niagra variety. I ran around gathering things, like a good non-panicked father-to-be is supposed to. Amber had a master list of things to take that she couldn't find, and her panic escalated into an image that I won't forget...she, squat-walking around the bedroom, red bath towel clenched below her massive belly, shouting repeatedly at no one,"Where's my list?!!?!"

We called my parents, who were probably in a deep sleep in northwest Houston. They had a long drive ahead of them and we didn't know if they'd make it in time. Once we got our stuff together and in the car, we headed to the hospital and made the rest of our calls on the way.

After the last one was made, it started to hit us.

"This is it," I said.

"Yep."

We were driving to the hospital as husband and wife, and we'd be driving home as mother and father. Whether or not we were ready wasn't the issue anymore; we knew that it was only a matter of hours before we'd see the faces of the children we'd only known as black & white video images and things-that-go-bump-in-the-belly.

Next time..."You wanna see the placenta?"

Stranger Comments

Having triplets means that you can't really go anywhere in public as a family without generating at least some amount of attention. Before we had the babies, Amber read lots of complaints about this: no privacy, annoying strangers asking personal questions, finger-pointing and under-the-breath comments. We figured most of the folks complaining about this weren't people-people.

Turns out that it's been fun for the most part. True, we don't go anywhere without hearing, "Oh look!" at least once. And every once in a while, we'd prefer going somewhere as a family without being pointed at from across the street. But it's fun meeting people and seeing the smiles on their faces.

Here are some things we've heard while we were out, along with a few of our responses (both real and imagined):

By far the most common remark is, "You've got your hands full."

"Glad it's you and not me." -- to which we usually respond, "Me too!"

"Two boys and a girl?" -- which usually happens when they're all wearing pink. Go figure.

"You have beautiful babies."

"Are those twins?"

"Are you going to try for a boy?" -- the snide part of me wants to respond, "We don't know, but we'll be sure and let you know when we start," but the better part says, "We're not sure yet."

"Are those fertility?"

"Were they natural?" -- snide response: "Actually they were manufactured in a cyber-genetics lab in east Asia. And believe it or not, they run on only two AA batteries!" Real response: "We did fertility treatments." Though we know what they mean, the proper term for multiples that occur without fertility treatment is "spontaneous".

"Daaaamn!"

"Do you ever get any sleep?"

"I bet you don't go anywhere without getting attention." -- the irony of that statement seems to elude the person making it.

"I wish I had my camera."

"Do you mind if I take a picture?" entrepreneurial response: "Five dollars. Fifteen for our signatures." Real response: "Not at all."

"I thought I had it rough with n children." -- and we're glad to provide them with a new perspective.

"God bless you."

"You've made my day." -- we've heard this more than once; it's a very sweet thing to say, and we're glad to have done it.

No church on Easter

It's Easter Sunday.

This afternoon we drove out to "The Ranch" for a family lunch (Amber's side). "The Ranch" is owned by some of her kin and is located in the rolling hills of Central Texas (more beautiful than you might think, if you've been to Waco); we enjoyed our drive out, especially because the girls slept for a good part of it. Quiet drives are nice, but rare. Heck, quiet anything is rare around our house.

The girls weren't feeling well so they were grumpy but well-cared for by many family members at the gathering, and they seemed to enjoy cruising up and down the hills in their go-anywhere, manna-from-heaven stroller. They fell asleep driving home. Ahhh, sweet naptime.

We didn't go to church. Our family hasn't been a regular at church in about a year. In the beginning, the girls kept us home since they were extremely susceptible to sickness. I was still on church staff until early fall so I attended regularly.

Once we were able to take the girls, we realized that taking them anywhere is not as trivial as we thought it might be. You can probably imagine the frantic pace and last-minute gathering of necessities -- not to mention babies -- that characterizes the 15 minutes before we pull out of the driveway. On some Sundays, the thought of that effort keeps us at home.

Also, there's this feeling I have that the Burns Party is a "disturber of the peace." We come into a place, the volume goes up, the stress level is tripled (at least), and we generally end up leaving some sort of mess. That's quite a different experience for two slightly-introverted people-pleasers to adjust to. For us, DaySpring has always been a place in which we find peace, and there is something uncomfortable about feeling as if we are disturbing that place. I know that this is something I'll have to get over. I'm sure that no one in our church would want us feeling that way, even if a few folks do take a deep breath when we walk in the door. And I think the level of chaos we bring to a place will likely get worse before it gets better. I'm just going to have to get used to our family disturbing the peace, and letting people deal with it.

Anyway, enough navel-gazing. I have a bad habit of spiraling downward into an introspective hall-of-mirrors when I begin to worry about what people think.

We'll be back in church soon enough. DaySpring is adding more nursery space which will definitely improve things, and we are moving the nursery away from the sanctuary (it's currently adjacent) which will mean that we won't sit in worship trying to identify which one of our girls is screaming in the background.

Christ is risen...He is risen indeed.

Next time: strangers get personal.

Can't think of a title

This past weekend, we went to an Easter egg hunt hosted by an lovely woman from the church where Amber grew up. Amber actually attended this same hunt as a little girl, and while we were there "Grandma F" pulled out some pictures from those many years ago. It's hard to believe that one day we'll be looking back fondly at pictures of our little girls from years gone by. Anyway, we all had a good time. Saturday night, R and J came over and brought a yummy dinner. We had a great time playing Settlers of Catan (one of our favorite games). R won.

We seem to be beyond the cold/cough crud that the girls have had the past two weeks, thank God. They are much less fun when they don't feel well.

I'm very proud of Amber. She'll be finishing her Master's Degree in Counseling this May and I'll bet money she'll be graduating with a 4.0; and she's done it while doing a great job being mom to ABC and wife to me. Amazing.

I'm officially declaring weekends as my family time. It may seem like common sense but I really haven't thought about my weekends that way until now. In one way I became a parent "overnight" but in another, more important way, I'm just beginning that transformation. Since our girls go to bed by 7 each night, the weekends are the really the only times I get to hang out with them. It feels so much better having a single priority on weekends simply because of the clarity it brings to my mind. I feel less tied to a to-do list or to the things I personally want to accomplish over the weekend, and more spontaneous and able to just enjoy life with the girls. Children have a way of bringing you down to their level, thanks be to God. I hope I never lose the ability to get below all the sh*t that comes with being an adult and enter the world of mystery, trust, and uninhibited joy that is childhood. May I always wonder what's inside the pink plastic egg hidden in the grass.

Blogging makes me uncomfortable

Honestly, it feels a little self-centered to think that people actually want to read stories about our lives. Yea, we have triplets, but so what? Everyone deals with unusual or difficult or exceptional circumstances at some point in their life. Does that mean they should write about it and expect people to care? This whole blogging thing makes me feel a little -- I dunno -- egocentric.

And I AM egocentric, to tell the truth. We are all our own little centers-of-the-universe to one degree or another. That's one of the great struggles of life...to live like we aren't the center, like the world doesn't revolve around us, to prevent ego-interference from blocking our ability to love the folks around us, love the world, live life to the full. My freakin' ego gets in the way all the freakin' time. But that's another post...

So blogging makes me uncomfortable. Maybe it's the attention; maybe it's the fact that our life feels like it's on display; maybe it's the fact that I don't want to be one of those parents who acts like the world revolves around their children, because I know it doesn't. I know that people are born and die every day. People get sick, get healed, get rich, go broke, are hungry, are oppressive, and are oppressed. People experience tragedies and miracles every day. I know that the world is so much bigger than our little party of five -- and I hope that I can teach that to my children.

Maybe the discomfort is what kept me away from the blog for so long. Maybe, in the back of my mind, I thought, "If I stop updating the blog, maybe folks will forget about us." But then maybe it was just laziness or busy-ness. I honestly don't know.

But, in spite of all this whining, here's what I've decided: I'm now viewing this blog as a private journal that just happens to be exposed to the light of day. I'm no longer writing to provide an "update" on our lives. That means I won't necessarily be writing about which baby is walking (Bella), which baby is talking (all three), which baby has diarreah (none, thank God), etc. If you'd like those kind of updates regularly, send me an email or come babysit. Instead, I'll be writing about things I want to remember, good and bad; things that I want to attempt to somehow capture in words. I do a lot of capturing in photos and video, but words seem to build memories in a much more personal and intimate way.

So if you care to continue reading, I'd love to have you along. You can even make comments if you'd like -- the new blog allows for that. We are thankful to have many people who care about us and our family, and I do not want to seem ungrateful. However, please know that I'm no longer writing for you. My audience is the future-me, sitting in the recliner on graduation day, looking through the pictures, choking back the tears, and remembering the journey that began on February 22, 2004. Hmmm...me writing for me...how egocentric.

Is green tea really good for you?

It was a normal morning in early January. Amber and I had recently resolved (as many do in January) to begin drinking green tea instead of coffee because we had read about its health benefits, and I had a fresh insulated cup of just-boiled green tea steeping on the end table (my first mistake). Aleah had a dirty diaper, so I plopped down in the middle of the living room to do the changing--we do most of our diaper changing on the floor. I was almost finished with the diaper when I scanned the room for the other girls and saw Bella crawling toward the end table where the shiny cup of green tea was waiting.

I turned my head back to Aleah to quickly finish the job (my second mistake), and by the time I turned around, hopped up, and got to Bella, she had reached the table, pulled up, and, literally half-a-second before I reached her, pulled the cup of scalding tea onto her chest and arm.

I scooped her up and immediately removed her shirt (my first non-mistake) and I was horrified to see a good bit of skin slough-off. I panicked, took her into the bathroom and called for Amber, who also panicked and told me to take her to the ER. She would join us as soon as she could get someone to watch the other girls. Bella's chest and arm already looked very red and angry.

The drive to the ER was no fun; Bella was crying in the back in her rear-facing car seat, and I was trying my best to comfort her from what seemed like miles away in the driver's seat. I wanted to just rewind the clock by just a few minutes, that's all. Where's Superman when you need him?

When I arrived at the ER with Bella wrapped in a blanket, the nurse at the desk saw me coming and picked up the phone before I even walked in. "What's wrong with the baby?", she asked as soon as I entered the door. I explained the situation. She spoke into the phone and then said, "We'll get you right back." And they did.

The ER staff was very kind, and treated Bella -- and me, a freaked-out, frightened, first-time-parent-in-the-ER -- well. They did have trouble with her IV, and I almost passed out because of the bleeding due to a failed attempt to find a good vein, but other than that I suppose the experience was as good as an ER experience can be. Amber arrived after about 30 minutes. Having her there made me feel much better. Once Bella had received morphine and they had treated her burns, we found out that our pediatrician had ordered that we be admitted to hospital. Bella had recieved 2nd and 3rd degree burns on 20%-25% of her body, so the doctor wanted to be sure she was hydrated and in a sterile environment for the next couple of days.

We left the ER -- which was at another hopsital -- and drove to the other hospital in town. We got settled into a room and the staff got another IV going. We spent the rest of that day and the night taking turns holding Bella. She would not be put down, and she couldn't sleep for more than 5 or 10 minutes. The first 24 hours after a burn are the most painful, so we kept the morphine going, but it seemed to make her irritable and itchy. The next morning, we decided to stop the morphine, and she finally slept. So did we.

While we were in the hospital, family and friends held down the home front and took great care of Aleah and Clara. When we arrived home the girls enjoyed a little family reunion; it was the first time the girls had been apart since they came home from the NICU.

For a couple of weeks after the incident, Bella required daily debridement (removal of dead tissue from her wounds) at the hospital. Once we were dismissed from the physical therapist, we continued the debridement and dressing change at home for several more weeks. Bella still has a scar on her arm, but her chest looks perfectly normal.

Despite kind and encouraging words from family and friends, I struggled for a while with blaming myself. And the truth is, I did make some mistakes. I could've done things differently and avoided the whole mess. I also know that it could've been much worse; that this burn is a relatively small event in the life of the world and it is certainly no tragedy. But this is how I've come to terms with this small-big thing and my part in causing it to happen: I did make mistakes, but mistakes only mean that I'm human; they do not mean that I don't love my children. I will always be human, and I will always make mistakes, and sometimes those mistakes will cause others pain, even people I love dearly. My goal is to learn what I can from mistakes and continue the job of loving and caring for the people in my life who need that from me.

Needless to say, we no longer enjoy the health benefits of green tea, but we are certainly satisfied with our moderately-warm cups of Community Coffee Dark Roast every morning. And we keep the cups up high.